On Pacing

I've never been this busy. I hope that I'll never be this busy again. I'm thankful for all the disparate elements of life - all of them fulfilling and challenging in their own ways. But I know that I can't sustain this pace for long. I hate the feeling of "working-in" times of uninterrupted contemplation and waiting on Jesus. I don't like that I probably talk to classmates and Kindergartners more than my fiance on any given day. And I don't like feeling unavailable for the beautiful interruptions of the Kingdom. I have become scarily good at apportioning my time into neat, 10 minute sections of pragmatism. Everything has its place, and as long as the order is preserved, we all keep on living, right? So what happens when God interposes? I don't want to miss his voice and will because I'm obsessed with Burkean aesthetics or notions of Victorian violence or internet registry updating. I don't want to miss out on the people I love and the people who need love because I'm busy with analyzing poems about goblins that may or may not be about sexual repression. Again, I love the things that are keeping me busy, but I am feeling the sting of it today. I want a moment without organization. I want a quiet moment with my Jesus. I think I'll go attend to that...